If you are finding yourself failing your goals over and over again, it might be time for you to readjust some things. Find out 7 things that may be causing you to fail your goals and learn how to fix them so you can start moving forward!
Have you ever been stumped by a door before?
Honestly, I feel like we all have. I mean, who hasn’t pushed on a pull door before? Or tried over and over to open a door without realizing that it was locked?
I’ve definitely had moments like that.
I think the most embarrassing door incident I ever had was when I was in university.
One day before class, I had to go a different route to my room and when I got to the door, I had no clue how to open it.
I tried pushing, I tried pulling, I looked for sensors and key card scanners. I was completely beat by this silly door.
It looked as if I was just going to have to go find another route inside until another student came up behind me. They sent a quick look in my direction, then went around me and slid the door open.
It turns out that the door was simply a manual sliding door and that was why nothing I tried to push or pull had worked.
Once I knew that I walked right in without a problem.
I feel like we all have moments like that in our lives.
Moments when we hack and slash at our problems without taking a step back to consider what we’re doing wrong.
If I had simply taken a moment to consider the door, I probably could have figured out that it was a sliding door. But I was so insistent on using my own strength to force the door open that I missed that detail.
It’s the same with the goals we set.
Sometimes, we get so hung up on achieving our goals through sheer determination that we make the task way harder than it has to be.
We might be giving our full effort but if we’re missing an important detail, we will fail just the same.
Today, I want to encourage you to take a step back from your goals. Consider whether or not there might be something else that is making your goal harder to achieve.
These seven tips are all possible reasons that you are failing your goals that have nothing to do with your determination.
Check them out and see if any of them might be giving you a hard time with your goals.
If they are, take a look at the solutions to those problems and try them out to see if they help.
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7 possible reasons you are failing your goals and how to fix them!
Reason #1- Your goal is not well-constructed
You may not realize it, but it actually matters a lot how well your goal is constructed.
If you make your goal too big, you won’t be able to achieve it. If the goal is too general, you’ll barely be able to tell if you succeeded at all.
When a goal you create is not good, it is already setting you up for failure.
Solution
To make sure that your goal isn’t the problem, check to see that it fits the criteria of a SMART goal.
That means it needs to be specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound.
Related Post: How to Set Goals You Can Actually Achieve
Reason #2- You don’t have a clear ‘why’
Another possible reason that you are failing your goals is simply that you don’t have clear enough motivation.
If someone asked you why you are chasing your goals, would you have a real answer?
Many times we make goal-setting decisions based on what we feel other people expect of us. But this isn’t enough of a reason to motivate anyone.
If you do not have a clear and personal reason for going after your goals, it will be a lot harder to achieve them.
Solution
When you are in the goal-setting stage, you need to ask yourself why you are choosing the goals you have.
If you don’t have a good reason to set that particular goal then you need to set a new one that aligns more closely with what you want.
Don’t let anyone else decide your goals for you. You know what’s best for your life, so you need to make that decision.
Want more help with that? Sign up below to get your own goal-setting workbook for free!
Reason #3- You didn’t prepare for success ahead of time.
Have you ever been about to do something when you realized that you didn’t have the materials you needed to do it?
How can you do something if you don’t have the tools necessary to do it?
The same rules apply to our goals.
When you do not have the tools prepared for you ahead of time, it automatically makes the task of achieving your goals much harder.
Solution
If you find yourself failing your goals often, consider whether or not you are planning properly.
Are you setting up a support system?
Do you have a way to remind yourself daily of your goals?
Is everything you need for success available to you when you start your goals?
By preparing these things ahead of time, you will be better equipped for success when you start your goals.
Want help with this? Read about how to prepare for your goals or download this quarterly goals workbook, which includes guidance on how to prepare for your goals!
Reason #4- You don’t have strong enough self-discipline
This might sound a little weird but stick around for the explanation.
Oftentimes, we think that achieving our goals requires force and constant motivation. I think the most important thing is actually discipline.
Discipline is a much more quiet form of motivation. The thing that makes it different is that discipline is about consistency rather than strength.
Discipline means showing up even when you aren’t feeling motivated.
It is about performing the same action consistently, believing that, over time, your small efforts every day will make a difference.
The bigger problem is that discipline is a really hard skill to develop.
But without it, achieving long-term goals can be especially hard because it will require you to be motivated enough to do it every day. That’s not easy!
Solution
If you find that you don’t have enough discipline to achieve your goals, then give yourself manageable ways to build that skill.
Make sure you start with small goals to try and then build up to things that require more discipline later on.
Here are some small goals you can set that will help you build the skill of discipline:
- Do 5 minutes of DuoLingo every day to start learning a new language
- Do a 10-minute yoga session every morning
- Write three points of gratitude in a journal every day
- Floss every day
These small goals are extremely manageable, but because they require consistent, daily attention, they are building your discipline.
Eventually, you will find it second nature to do your daily habit.
Once you do, you will be able to try for a more difficult goal next time you are goal-setting!
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Reason #5- You expect perfection
Even when you have good discipline, there will absolutely be days when things just don’t go your way.
If you are someone who expects perfection, then these days will be especially problematic.
If you expect to have a perfect track record when trying to achieve your goals, then the day that you can’t keep that perfect record will be the day that you decide to give up.
Expecting perfection might be the reason that you are failing your goals.
The moment you can’t meet that standard, you give up entirely.
Solution
There are three great solutions to this problem that I have tried in the past (this problem has always been the biggest one for me personally).
First, you need to change your mindset a little to see perfection in a different light.
Instead of seeing perfection as executing the task perfectly, try looking at perfection as being able to move forward when you experience imperfection.
Second, create goals that leave room for imperfection.
Instead of saying you want to do something every single day, say you want to do it five times each week.
This allows room for error without making you feel like you failed and it will keep you feeling motivated much longer.
Finally, it helps to intentionally celebrate the small stuff.
When you make it through your first week, celebrate it! If you did an extra day of effort, celebrate it!
If you noticed a small improvement, celebrate it! Setting quarterly goals can be a good way to focus on smaller achievements.
Don’t choose to focus on the outcome of the goal; instead, focus on the journey to that goal.
Related Post: 7 Reasons Quarterly Goals are Magic for Personal Growth
Reason #6- You care too much about what people think
When I was doing a French Immersion program, something in the welcome ceremony really stuck with me. I remember the speaker telling us, “You will learn more if you approach this whole experience without the fear of being embarrassed.”
It ended up being true.
One person I knew who was a beginner in French sounded so silly every time he spoke.
But he never hesitated to speak up and try out new words for the sake of learning, and it certainly paid off! By the end of the program, he had earned the award for ‘most improved student’ and could speak conversational French.
The people who didn’t learn much at all ended up this way because they were too afraid to try.
They were worried that people would think they were unintelligent or weird.
Our worries about what other people will think about our actions affect us so much that it can often lead to stagnation.
Solution
Much like the problem of perfection, this is a mindset issue that needs to be changed.
You need to understand that growth of any kind takes courage, and you need to be willing to be courageous and face your fears of what other people mind think.
If this seems like too big of a task for you, then start smaller.
Do something every day that makes you a little uncomfortable around others so that you will start to learn that it’s really not as big of a deal as you think it is. Maybe this means talking to a stranger or wearing a hat you like that others might think is weird. Whatever you decide to do, attack it with courage and the recognition that it will lead to personal growth.
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Reason #7- You don’t actually believe you can achieve your goals
The last reason why you might be failing your goals is simply that you never believed you could achieve them in the first place.
Why would anyone bother to put effort into something they don’t think they could do? It’s pointless!
If you don’t think you can achieve your goals from Day 1, you won’t have any motivation to continue trying as time goes on.
Solution
If you actually, genuinely think that your goal can’t be achieved, then all you really have to do is change your goal to one that you feel is more realistic.
But in addition to that, it helps to visualize yourself achieving your goals.
When I did synchronized swimming in university, one of the things my coach had the team do before every competition was to sit down and imagine ourselves performing our routine while listening to our performance song.
It helped us build our confidence, calm our nerves, and clear our minds for the competition ahead.
When you visualize your success, it makes you feel more confident in yourself and motivates you to try harder to reach that vision.
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If you are someone who has been having trouble finding success in the goals you’ve made, I hope that these 7 possible reasons that you are failing your goals were enlightening.
Take what you’ve learned and apply it to your next goal-setting session to achieve your goals more easily next time!
What do you do to help you achieve your goals more often?
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